Nothing Quite Like Unrequited
by Alexandra Thyme
Summary: Sleeping Warrior ship 'fic. Maybe one-shot? I don't know. I'm currently rewriting it, and therefore have deleted the second and third chapters.


_Readers! First of all, thank you, thank you all so much for taking the time to read and favorite and subscribe to this story! Gosh it always makes me feel so wonderful when I find that the stories I'm creating are read and anticipated. There is no greater feeling for a writer, in my very humble opinion. Second of all, this is now my second revision. Originally, the first three chapters of this 'fic were written in a first-person narrative, but I felt like the way I was able to express my writing was extremely limited, and I had to switch between characters to feel like I could accurately represent their feelings and thoughts. It felt disjointed. So, I have gone through and rewritten the first three chapters. The chapters were too short! Not at all like my usual two-thousand (at least!) words per chapter in other stories. _  
_So here we go!_  
_A.T._

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Once Upon a Time_. Obviously. Or I would be a rich producer of a successful television show. I don't profit from writing this fanfiction, other than the warm fuzzy feelings I get from the following of readers. Don't sue me, please, Adam and Eddy. I applaud you for creating OUAT, but I do not applaud you (insofar as my limited human vision as seen) for what you have done to Mulan and Aurora and their wonderful subtext relationship that was very Xena-Gabrielle-esque! Which is why I wrote this 'fic._

CHAPTER ONE

Mulan stood in the corner of the courtyard, watching Aurora as she moved among large potted plants with a watering can, her heart beating a rapid tune in her chest. She hid one hand from view under her cloak and with the other she gripped the hilt of her sword to keep it from shaking visibly. As she thought of what she was going to say to the princess, Aurora caught her in the corner of her eye. She looked up from her watering can, setting it down in disbelief as a smile grew on her face. "Mulan!" Now she had fully turned and was striding toward the warrior, a look of such happiness on her face as the two friends approached each other. Mulan's heart felt as though it may explode out of her chest with nervousness and anticipation.

Aurora looked overjoyed. "How long have you been there? What are you doing?"

Upon Mulan's face a sincere smile appeared. "Just—gathering my courage," she said, surprised that her voice didn't shake, and glad of it.

"What's going on? I'm so glad you're back!" Aurora was glowing as she reached out and took Mulan's hands in hers to grasp them tightly. The smile that radiantly bathed her friend in an adoring gaze was so powerful that butterflies erupted inside the Chinese warrior, threatening to cause her heart to burst.

"Is Philip here?" Mulan asked carefully and yet casually, hoping that he was not.

"No. No, shall I get him?" Aurora asked, letting go with one hand to point toward the castle, nearly breathless and still getting over the shock of seeing her friend again so unexpectedly.

Mulan's smile grew a little as she looked into her princess's clear blue eyes. "No that's unnecessary, it's you I wanted to talk to. You see, I—" She paused, for Aurora was smiling so radiantly. It was curious that she was so incredibly happy. Could it be that she felt what Mulan did and anticipated it?

"Why are you smiling at me?" Mulan asked, her friendly smile turning into a beam of happiness. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears. Aurora's adoring gaze and joyful smile were no illusion. The princess's heart was bursting with joy, joy that had been added to by unexpected meeting her friend. Her hands tightened a little on Mulan.

"I can tell you are bursting with news, but so am I," she said excitedly.

"You are?" Mulan asked, a little off-guard, her smile fading just a bit.

Aurora took a small breath, her face still bright with her smile. "Philip and I are expecting a baby."

Mulan felt that she couldn't've been hit harder if Aurora had dropped a boulder on her stomach from the highest turret of the castle. The devastation that shook her felt like someone was tearing a large hole through her heart, blackening what once was beautiful, emptying what once was full. She forced a smile quickly onto her face, careful not to show the hurt that was steadily growing.

"That's excellent news," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. Aurora gathered her into an embrace that once would have made Mulan feel longing, but now made her want to die of grief.

"It's like a dream come true!" Aurora said, her voice quivering with emotion. Then she suddenly remembered that Mulan had news too, and she pulled back, grasping her best friend's hands again. "Now please, please, tell me your news!" Her blue eyes that always looked like the water of a clear brook, were searching Mulan's, her face so full of happiness and joy that Mulan knew she could not echo in her vast emptiness.

"I'm joining Robin Hood's band," Mulan said suddenly, her voice betraying her. It was obvious that she hadn't been going to accept Robin's offer. To Mulan it was completely obvious that her answer to Aurora was as unexpected to her friend as it was to herself. She knew Aurora would know that this would not be what she was originally going to say, but at the moment, it was all she could bring herself to convey.

Immediately Aurora's smile faltered and then fell.

"What—you're leaving us?" Aurora asked in disbelief, starting to sound distressed. Her voice nearly broke with the question.

"Yes, I'm afraid so," Mulan could hear herself saying the words almost automatically, barely able to think through the pain enveloping her mind. This was not how this conversation was supposed to go! This wasn't the way Aurora was supposed to be looking at her, barely veiled grief and pain on her face and in her clear blue eyes. "Goodbye." Mulan said softly, drawing her friend into what she knew would be a last embrace. Aurora held on to Mulan, dizzy and confounded, pain and grief beginning to slowly line her face.

Then, Mulan let her go and quickly turned, walking down the courtyard path, and with her face turned she allowed the first of many tears to start falling. Aurora watched her go, feeling the distressed part of her taking over and tears spilled down her cheeks. She sat against the raised wall around the plants and held her head in her hands, her shoulders beginning to shake with the first of what would become racking sobs.

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As soon as Mulan had turned the corner of the courtyard she had broken into a run that carried her across the bridge, to the tree where she had tethered her chestnut stallion Khan. However, instead of stopping to untie him and cry into his strong neck, she continued to hurry past him, deep into the woods, crashing through the underbrush. Her face was no longer the calm mask she had presented to Aurora. It had twisted with hurt and anger and loneliness.

"I love you, Aurora!" She cried out loud, letting her voice break the stillness of the woods. Birds burst from a nearby bush, flinging themselves into the air away from her startling cry. "With all of my everything, I love you! I could have been your happily ever after!" Her last words were strangled as she let branches whip across her face, never breaking her stride as she continued aimlessly between trees, further losing herself within the woods.

She stopped her directionless tirade when she tripped over a fallen log, falling to her hands and knees. Her breathing was labored, her face welted from branches, and still wet from her tears. She had no more tears to give at the moment, and she felt empty, tired, and dry. Instead of getting to her feet, she let herself lie down on the forest floor among the dead leaves and branches. She knew it would not do to just lie there and contemplate her lost love. It would not do to dwell on the vast sea of emptiness and depression threatening to swallow her whole. She knew that needed to get up, go find her horse, and ride to Robin Hood's camp.

But, she admitted to herself, she was just too tired.

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Aurora wasn't sure how long she had cried there, amongst the vegetation and the dirt and the flagged cobblestone of the courtyard. The sun was shining down just as brightly as it had when she had first seen Mulan, before her devastating news. But somehow the sunlight seemed duller, and somehow the mixed smell of freshly cut green things and overturned dirt was not as rich to her delicate senses. She felt broken. Yes, broken, that's what it was, she decided, as she held her legs against her body, resting against the low stone wall that guarded the plants.

_Mulan…why? _The simple question repeated itself over and over, with no answer or explanation. Just _why_. _Why does it hurt and why have you gone and why, why, _why _do I feel this way?_

When she could finally stand up and look around, when she had finally stopped sobbing so intensely that her whole body ached, she realized something. She felt empty. And yet the emptiness was so encompassing that it was overwhelming. There was no mistaking that her grief had somehow sucked the joy from her life, leaving her cup empty and broken.

She felt that she needed to go to Philip, not for comfort, but to tell him that he needed to find Mulan and bring her back. Mulan belonged with Aurora and Philip. She had been such a large part of their lives. But most of all, she belonged with Aurora as her protector and confidant and friend.

Aurora stood regally. Impressive, considering how tired and broken she felt inside; but she brushed off her dress and turned herself about walking into the castle. She found Philip in the great hall, sitting at a table with a couple of his guards. There was a casual smile on his face. Apparently someone had just said something funny. Aurora, in her grief, found that she was regarding her one True Love with something like dislike. How could he smile when she felt like this? It was unjust!

Philip regarded her with a worried look as he stood up from the table. "Are you all right, my love?" he asked gently as he reached out and stroked her cheek with his finger. "You look unwell."

"It's Mulan, Phililp. She's gone." Aurora bit her lip to keep her tears at bay. Although it had felt like she had cried them all in the courtyard, there they still were, threatening her.

Philip took his princess, pulling her into the warm embrace of his strong arms. "She's gone," he said faintly. "Our dearest friend. Gone." He closed his eyes, a strange look of sadness and relief on his face. It sounded as if he were also fighting back tears, the emotion distant in his voice.

"Philip, we must go find her," Aurora said, her voice breaking a little as she slumped against his chest.

"If she doesn't want to stay here, we shouldn't force her," he said gently. Aurora's eyes widened in surprise at his answer. Mulan had been his companion for years, wouldn't he want her to stay? Although maybe that was why he was saying this, because perhaps he felt he knew Mulan better than Aurora.

"No, Philip—I—we must send men, now. I need to find her."

Philip pulled back and held Aurora gently at arm's length, pity in his eyes and a studying look on his face. "Darling…" He sighed. "Mulan chose to leave."

"No," Aurora said suddenly, pulling back, and he released her, watching her fierceness with sadness in his eyes. "No, she was going to tell me something, and I didn't let her speak and then she—Something is wrong, Philip. This isn't a true choice, I know it!"

He sighed again. "Very well. I will send a few men right now to go find her and bring her back." He stepped close, kissed her cheek and then gave her a sad smile as he turned and walked away to gather the men that would find Mulan.

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Mulan woke up feeling sore and disoriented as the sound of hoof beats grew steadily louder. She pushed up from the ground, feeling a bit dizzy and weak. She looked up to see a group of four men approaching on horseback, and then all went dark as she passed out.

The group of men finally reached her and one dismounted. He walked up to her body and knelt down on one knee, taking off a glove and holding his hand before her mouth and nose.

"She's breathing!" he called over his shoulder to the other guards. He picked her up, slinging her over her shoulder and then, after reaching his roan mare, placed her on the saddle, climbing up behind her. "Let's go!" His command sent the rescue team racing back the way they came.

swswswswswswsw

Waking up for the second time, Mulan felt a wet cloth against her face, and as the room's surroundings came swimming into focused detail, the first thing she recognized was the figure above her. A relieved smile broke over the heartbreaking concern on Aurora's face, and Mulan felt her heart beginning that familiar hurried rhythm.

"Mulan," Aurora breathed, her smile giving way to tears as she grasped one of Mulan's hands. Mulan lifted up her other hand to brush away some tears from Aurora's cheek, as the princess fixed her watery gaze upon her beloved friend. "Mulan, why?" she asked quietly, her voice full of emotion.

Instead of answering her, Mulan sighed, letting her hand drop away from the princess's face and looking away from her to the large open window. The sun had set, night was falling.

"Look at me," said Aurora intensely, and Mulan obeyed, their eyes locking together.

"I can't stay here," Mulan said honestly, quietly. "I must go on my own path now, Aurora."

"No!" Aurora cried out, her eyebrows moving just as intensely as her voice sounded. "You belong here, with me, with Philip—"

Mulan was desperate to be heard. "I don't belong here with you and Philip. I do not belong here, Aurora. This is not my world. This land of castles and witches and spells."

Aurora clutched the bedspread, leaning closer to her friend as a couple tears spilled down her cheeks.

"You belong with me! You said you would protect me—"

"For Philip!" Mulan blurted, her voice rising a little. Her throat burned, it ached. She was close to tears. "We do not belong to each other, Aurora. I was fulfilling my duty as Philip's friend—"

"Are you not my friend?" Aurora asked incredulously, another tear falling to the bedspread below. "Are you not my friend?" she whispered. "Do you not owe it to me, as my friend, to stay by me and protect me?" She took Mulan's hand again in hers, and that seemed to break Mulan. The warrior turned her head away as one tear fell down her face followed by another, and then another, and her face began to slowly twist into a silent sob.

Aurora looked alarmed as she gasped. "Mulan—what is wrong? Why can't you tell me what is wrong?" She buried Mulan in her embrace, and cried with her, their sobs staggered as the princess held her warrior.

"I'm in the way in this place," Mulan's voice was raspy and broken between sobs.

"How could you ever think that you were in the way? I am lost without you," Aurora whispered, stroking tears from Mulan's cheek, holding her tight, rocking her gently. The words were true. Aurora knew they were the moment they left her lips. And what's more, she knew that she realized something else as soon as she had said that. Philip was not her compass, nor her rock. What was he then? Obviously, the father of her child. Her True Love. But not her compass? Why did she feel so lost with him at her side and without Mulan? That wasn't how True Love was supposed to work, was it? Confusion mixed with her grief as she held Mulan close. This moment of their weakness, was so precious, so intimate, Aurora couldn't bear for it to end.

But, like all things that are that valued, it did end. Abruptly and roughly.

Philip, with his two guards always behind him, came through the door into the room, uninvited, and for some strange but not so strange reason, unwelcome. Aurora looked up, startled at his arrival, and felt a little like her privacy had been abused.

"Philip, couldn't you have knocked?" She asked, perhaps sounding more incredulous than she meant.

"Sorry." He looked it. "Would you both like to come for supper? Table has been set and is waiting."

Aurora wiped away at her tears with one hand, the other still holding onto Mulan, who had turned her face to the wall. Aurora gave Philip the sternest look, and he looked at her strangely, as if looking at someone he didn't know.

"Aurora?" he said faintly as her look seemed to wither him to his core. He cleared his throat, nodding awkwardly. "I shall have some supper sent up here." He quickly left the room with a swish of his crimson cape and the sound of his guards marching behind him. Aurora got up from the bed, closing the wooden door behind them, and then turned slowly to look at Mulan.

_My protector, you need my protection this time._ Aurora couldn't help but notice how Mulan looked frail, weak, tired. Not at all like herself. She was looking out the window, an expression of exhaustion on her face. Aurora approached the bed slowly, wondering what to say to her. As she sat down on the edge of the bed again, Mulan slowly turned her head, her brown eyes watching Aurora, regarding her with the loneliest of looks. The princess pressed her hand against Mulan's cheek, looking into those eyes, searching for her within them.

It was Mulan who broke the silence.

Her voice was worn when she spoke, and not much above a whisper. "Aurora." She tried to smile, but it wavered and she bit her lip, looking away from her princess. She took a moment to compose herself. She spoke again, still looking away. She was ashamed of something.

"Aurora. I came to you—to tell you something that was not about Robin Hood or joining him." Her voice was soft, that rough and orderly timbre about it missing. She sounded lost. Aurora picked up her hand for the third or fourth time and held it between hers, watching the warrior and waiting. Mulan shook her head slightly and looked out the window at the evening sky. "I cannot even say it now. It would do no good—"

Aurora couldn't help herself. She interrupted her friend. "What is it? Surely it can be said. Don't you know how much you mean to me? If I could stop your pain—" here Mulan cringed, but still kept her gaze away from Aurora's pleading face. Aurora lifted one of her soft hands to delicately touch her warrior's cheek. "If I could stop the pain I can see you feeling, I would do anything."

Mulan drew a sharp breath, and for a moment the old self had returned. "Don't say such things. You don't know what you are saying."

"I do!" Aurora said stubbornly. "What is our kingdom worth without the greatest warrior, companion and friend in it? How can we raise our child without you there to protect us? To be there when I need you, when Philip—"

"Yes. Philip," Mulan murmured, that grief in her eyes intensifying. "Always it comes back to him."

Aurora was momentarily stunned into silence, a long silence that drew between them, a silence that was horrifying and heavy all at once.

"Is this about him?" She asked very quietly, watching her.

Mulan's face was brave as she looked up into Aurora's clear blue eyes. "Truthfully, it's about you, and not so much him."

"What have I done?" Aurora asked, worry beginning to lace the confusion and pain on her face.

"It is not about what you have done. It's about who you are, and about what I cannot be for you. It's about how I feel, and how you do not." Mulan looked away, feeling her eyes beginning to brim again.

"I don't understand—" Aurora began and Mulan nodded.

"That much is perfectly clear, princess," she said, keeping her voice as even as she could. "How could you begin to understand?"

"You are my dearest friend," Aurora cried out softly. "What have I denied you that you would rather leave than stay? What have I said that you cannot bear my presence?"

Mulan closed her eyes. "You are my greatest weakness, and my greatest treasure." Mulan heard Aurora's quiet intake of breath, her heart quickening. "But you also do not belong to me. And I cannot reap what I have not sown." Mulan opened her eyes and looked at her friend. Aurora had covered her mouth with one hand, the other grasping the bedspread. Tears had already fallen down her face, and more were threatening.

Mulan made the final plunge. "I am, regrettably, deeply in love with you, princess. What was loyalty to Philip turned into my own selfish feelings. I cannot stay and regain my honor. I owe him something, but honestly, I don't feel I owe him anything anymore. I kept my promise, and what's more, I kept you safe for him. For him! He was dead and gone, but I was keeping you for him!" She slid out of the bed and walked over to the window. Her legs were still a little weak, but not badly enough to keep her from walking or standing. The cool breeze passing by ruffled her hair and brushed gently against her cheeks. She took a deep breath of fresh air, trying to clear her head.

"I do not know how long or short it was before I was only keeping you, not for his sake, but for mine. I cannot tell you the moment I fell in love with the way you smile, and the way your eyes fill me with light." Mulan sighed, tracing the groove between stones on the window sill. "What I do know, is that you are not mine, and what I can tell you is that my heart is broken. And I cannot stay here. Not with honor."

Mulan's eyes widened, her breath catching as her best friend's arms embraced her tightly around her middle. "Aurora," she whispered, tentatively setting one of her hands on one of the princess's. Aurora's face was warped in pain, her crying barely audible as she sobbed into the nightgown of her warrior.

"It is my fault," she lamented, her voice strangled. "Your pain is my doing."

Mulan's face fell, and she leaned heavily against the window sill. "Please don't say that, princess."

"But it is true, isn't it?"

Together, they cried.


End file.
